


I'm tired Barry

by JadeEmerald



Category: Misfits (TV 2009)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Happy Ending, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-25 02:23:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19736434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeEmerald/pseuds/JadeEmerald
Summary: There's something wrong with Nathan, very wrong. Simon just wants to help.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story I hope it is okay.

It started about a week ago, Nathan was different. He was quiet and calm and different.  
No one was willing to approach him about what was going on Simon even suspected they enjoyed this new quiet side but he felt something should be said so as the we're getting ready to leave for the day he walked up to Nathan. 

"Nathan? What's wrong?"

Nathan barely glanced at him gave one sharp shake of his head and turned to leave but Simon wasn't ready to give up and grabbed Nathan's wrist who in turn recoiled and hissed in pain before running out without a word leaving a wide eyed worried Simon behind. 

He had waited that night for Nathan to return he knew he'd have to eventually with him staying here and all when he hears footsteps he turned invisible. Nathan had entered climbed the stairs and looked over the railing tears in his eyes and he pulled out a knife and rolled his sleeve up. 

"Don't!" Simon hadn't meant to shout but Nathan dropped the knife and turned in surprise before narrowing his eyes at Simon. 

" What the hell do you think you're doing Barry?"

"Me? What about you what are YOU doing Nathan?"

Nathan blinked a couple times before looking at the ground and sighing. 

"Look man everything's good here now please be a perverted freak elsewhere."

Simon picked up the discarded knife and slowly shook his head and Nathan couldn't take it he sighed heavily. 

" Do you know what it's really like to die over and over and always come back? It's torture I feel like I've lost myself food has lost it's taste, jokes have lost their humor. I've got to deal with these things alone and all I can do is hurt because if I can still feel pain I know I really am still alive."

Simon slowly shook his head and held his hands out and Nathan reached out to hold them. 

" I'm so sorry Nathan I had no idea."

Nathan sighed and laid his head on Simon's shoulder. 

"I'm tired Barry. I am so tired."

So Simon laid next to Nathan and held him til he fell sleep while silently swearing that he would fix this. Somehow he would make things better for Nathan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel my chapters may be too short but just bear with me I am new to all this.

This next day was a challenge for Simon. He tried to go about as if all was normal but the frightened looks he keep receiving from Nathan reminded him of how things really were still. It was when the group were having lunch that Nathan finally says something. 

"Hey, be alright if I spoke to you a minute there?"

Before Simon could answer Curtis was standing and glaring at Nathan. 

"Why don't you talk to him here we all know you're just gonna be a prick to him."

"Don't be a cunt Curtis."

Everyone turned wide eyes on Simon. He had never talked like that to any of them before Curtis stared for another minute before leaving everyone else stayed silent not sure of what to say before Simon motioned for Nathan to follow him. 

" You wanted to talk?"

Nathan nodded "I wanted to make sure you didn't say saying to the others about what you saw but I guess it's obvious you wouldn't do that. Shit Simon when did you get so badass?"

Simon grinned at that and felt a swell of warmth in his chest Nathan had just used his real name! He tried not to show just how giddy that really made him feel and gave Nathan a small shrug in response. He was about to say more when Kelly walked over. 

"Ay mates me and Alisha are going to hit the pub now wanted to see if you lot are joining."

Nathan gave a small nod and that was all Simon needed to agree to go too. He wanted to stay close to Nathan a while, he needed to make sure he got better so the four of them headed to the pub together Simon hopeful this would be a fun time out.


	3. Chapter 3

At the pub Nathan seemed much more relaxed. Not his full cocky self but he smiled and talked with everyone and it was a start in the right direction. Until that is they started talking about how things might change after community service. Kelly hadn't made up a full plan for herself yet but planned to try to stay out of trouble and Alisha talked about had been playing a trip with Curtis eventually. After Alisha left to go home Kelly asked what Nathan would do. 

"Oh, you know just try to find a real way of dying."

His eyes widened after he realised what he just said, he hadn't meant to he was just drunk and and pathetic he had to leave had to get away from the judging eyes, but then he looked at Simon and saw the concern in his eyes. Those eyes kept him from bolting right away. Those fucking eyes. 

"Nathan that ain't fuckin funny mate." Kelly wasn't quite yelling but wasn't calm either. Nathan laughed humorously and shook his head. 

" You're right Kel, it's not clearly I need Jesus yeah too bad all I get from dying is another chance. " another cold laugh 

Nathan stood to leave giving Simon another quick look, he looked sad and Nathan almost felt bad. Almost. But he left anyways walking home alone but when got there he leaned against wall looking around he sighed. 

" You can show yourself I know you're there."

Simon turned visible and locked eyes with Nathan. 

"Hi."

"Hi, what do you think you're doing man, I really don't need this shit right now if I'm gonna feel better it's not gonna be because some freak pities alright."

" And what will make you feel better Nathan?"

"I don't know! I just want to feel something again but I can't. I can't feel shit and no one really cares they never did I-" 

He paused wondering if he should finish his thought but he figured if he told anyone about his plan it might as well be the one person that knew what he had been going through already. 

" I heard of a bloke that can take powers, thought I'd see of it were real, I could finally be free, I could die for good and -"

He fell the ground suddenly clutching his face he looked up in shock to see Simon with a clutched fist looking just as surprised as he did. 

"Oh god Nathan I am so sorry! I didn't mean it I just reacted I just heard what you were saying and reacted oh god."

Nathan stared stunned for a few minutes rubbing his cheek before he tilted his head back and laughed. He laughed hard and when Simon looked at him like he had gone mental he laughed even harder. Eventually Simon sat next to him and laughed with him. They leaned on each other and laughed until they couldn't breathe. 

Once they calmed down they sat in silence not sure what to say next but then Nathan spoke. 

"Why?"

Simon blinked waiting for him to say more. 

" Why are you here? I have been a nothing but a prick to you since we met. Why don't you leave me be?"

Simon didn't answer right away just sat there and held out his hand for Nathan like he did the first night he'd find Nathan with the knife. Nathan sighed and took his hand. 

"I care about you Nathan, you're the only friend I really have. I know you're don't mean the things you say it's just how you deal with everything and I know what it's like to feel empty, to feel alone and lost. But you're not alone Nathan and you never will be I'm going to be right here no matter what."

Nathan was crying, he had felt numb for so long that someone even trying to understand would have meant something but Simon DID understand. He leaned in closer to him looking for a sign that he should stop and back off but then Simon closed the distance and their lips met. 

It was more than a kiss it was a promise. A promise that no matter how hard things got they would help each other through it. They didn't say much after that. They didn't have to they just stayed in each others company and for the first time in a long time Nathan felt something he sighed and closed his eyes dozing off. 

Simon kissed the top off his head and thought about what this meant. He'd be there for Nathan for whatever he needed. It was going to be a long road ahead of them before things were fully better but Simon would be there for it all he knew threw it all they'd get thought it together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter i hope you enjoyed sorry if it wasn't very good I will try harder to get better at writing thank you.

Shit shit shit. It was all that was running through Nathan's mind at the moment. He had heard of crime rising ever since the storm but seriously who the hell breaks into a damn community center?

It had happened as they were leaving for drinks Simon and him were staying behind for a quick shag first when he heard a a noise only to find a a man with a guy holding up the rest of the group he had hoped they had already left. He's was trying to think of a plan when he felt something brush pay him but when he looked nothing was there.

"Simon?"

He looked back the the group to to see the man start to back further away from the group only to run into Simon. Simon showed himself and struggled to get the gun away from the man but it didn't work now the gun was pointed on Simon.  
The rest of the group shouted in fear.

"Hey asshole!"

The man turned to face Nathan after he yelled and pointed the gun at him.

"Well come on then what are you waiting for? Trumpets? A parade? Your the big man that theatened everyone go ahead then."

The man didn't move and Nathan charged him at the the same time as Simon there was another struggle and two shots from the gun. The man feel down dead everyone cheered until the looked at Nathan who also got shot and was on the ground. Simon ran to him.

"Shit no Nathan! God it's OK you'll be OK"

Nathan have a short breathy laugh followed by a cough blood putting from the corners of his mouth.

"Hey man yeah, I'll be back remember I'm immortal." 

Simon sobbed still

"Hey hey it's OK I'll be here still I'm still here."

"I'm so sorry Nathan I know you hate going through this."

Nathan tried to reply but he felt himself fading away, later he thought. They could talk later. And then he let go.

An hour later he shit up gasping for air. He looked around and realised he had been moved to his bed he looked up thankful to see Simon there with a cup of water. He looked worse than Nathan felt. Face wet from tears along with tired swollen eyes and horribly disheveled hair.

"Hey"

"Hey, you alright?"

Nathan almost laughed. He just died and yet was being asked how he felt. But then he thought about it, really thought about it. He was OK. He died again but felt actually alive when he woke up. He had grown so used to the numbness that followed he was almost scared to feel anything else but he knew this was Simon's doing. Knew that he would die 100 times if it meant coming back to see Simon's face was what was in store for him. He smiled.

"Yeah mate. I think I am."

"Nathan I am so sorry, I should have done more should have been faster, I should have -"

Nathan cut him off with a kiss. It was sweet and slow and left Simon feeling dizzy.

"I'm OK. Really."

Simon looked at him for a long while before finally nodding giving a small smile thankful that Nathan found his way back in better frame of mind than he had been.

They spent all their time together they could after that, there was still bad days and worrying moments with Nathan but Simon was always there for him, no matter what happened they would be there for each other always and that's way really mattered at the end of it all.


End file.
